This week, Pokemon Ruby and Pokemon Sapphire were released here in Europe. I've had a US import copy of Sapphire for a while now, and there was a feature that took me a while to work out. Every now and then while playing the game you get some character asking you something, and you have to answer using a bunch of pre-selected words and phrases that it presents to you. Sometimes it only allows you to enter one phrase, sometimes two, sometimes four, and in the battle tower at the end it allows you to build a sentence out of six words and phrases. The best thing about this is that apart from some very rare instances, what you enter has no lasting effect on your progress in the game whatsoever. So what are they for? Simple - to amuse yourself and others.
OK, so none of the selectable words are rude or offensive (or funny) in any real way. But because the English language is so wonderfully context-based (not so much as the original language, Japanese, but you get the idea) and so many colloquial phrases consist of slang words with totally innocent origins, it is possible to make phrases that are funny, offensive, surreal, and lots of other things out of the words that the game provides.
Why would I want to do this? Well, it may not be funny when you first enter it, but the game remembers everything you enter and very often it uses your responses back at you later on. Usually after you've forgotten what you entered, when it becomes so much funnier, especially when the context is changed.
So, for me, once the novelty of the game had worn off, the challenge of coming up with the most amusing, stupid or weird phrase out of the words it gives you became the high point of the game.
But wait! There's more! Not only can you amuse yourself for hours with your own childish humour, you can inflict it on others! In previous Pokemon games it was possible to trade information with other players via a link cable or over IR. In Ruby and Sapphire you can 'mix records' with your friends. The main point of this is so that your hall of fame is not just your own, it's that of your friends too, meaning that you can actually keep scores and a league table between everyone you know and check their scores against yours at any time. However, mixing records also mixes silly phrases without telling you! Anything you've told the TV interviewer will appear on TV sets in your friends' games. Anything you've chosen to use as a battle phrase could appear as a phrase uttered by a contestant in the battle tower. Share the stupidity!
So where can you partake in this sad pastime? I will begin with the most versatile of all.
Just outside the Dewford Hall is a young chap who will utter what he considers to be the trendy phrase of the moment. He will ask you if you agree. If you say 'no', he will ask you what you consider to be the trendy phrase. Whatever you reply will be the phrase the entire population of Dewford Hall will be saying to each other until you change it again or swap records with your friends.
And they wonder why kids are so impressionable.
Of course if you do swap records with friends, chances are that your 'trendy phrase' could show up in their game at some point. Think of the funniest thing you can think of being a local 'trend' from the words available and laugh at some of the crap the people in the town hall come out with.
In the Petalburg pokemon centre there is a guy stood near the PC in the top right corner. Talk to this guy and he will ask you for your trainer's profile. This will not appear anywhere in your game, however if you ever mix records with a friend they will get to look at your trainer's profile, which will include this phrase somewhere. Classic phrases are "She is Making Me Hard", "I Want Cute Girl" and "Give me Your Sister!!". The best one I've seen that I didn't come up with myself is "I am Feeling A little Shroomish".
These are great. There are two characters that appear throughout the game who will try to battle you two-on-two. Every time you beat them they will interview you, asking you what you thought of the battle. You only get one word/phrase, so my advice is to say something totally nonsensical. After the interview go into any nearby house that has a TV and go up to it and press 'A'. You should get what you just said hurled in you face. I often like to make out that I am deranged - responses such as FUFUFU and AIYEEH. For the surrealists among us, CHLOROPHYLL works very well.
The interviewers hang around route 120 (east of Fortree), route 111 (north of Mauville, through the breakable rocks) and route 118 (east of Mauville, just across the river)
In addition there is one interviewer that always hangs around the Pokemon Fan Club in Slateport. Just walk up to the woman standing on the right of the room with her back to you and talk to her. Depending on the first pokemon in your line-up, she will ask you one of two things. If your first pokemon has a nickname, she'll ask you first what attracted you to that pokemon and then what pokemon mean to you. Each time you only get one word/phrase. However, if the first pokemon has no nickname, you get asked for an account of the pokemon, and you get to enter a sentence made up of four words or phrases, which is much more fun...
To the right of the Battle Tower reception you'll find a guy who asks you what you think of when you enter battle. You will be able to construct a sentence from six (!) words or phrases. If you then mix records, your quote will appear as one of their opponent's phrases if they then challenge the battle tower.
Additionally, you may get interviewed upon completing the battle tower. This will appear on TV at some point. Again, switching records will get your friends' interviews transferred to your game.
Possibly the only place in the game where this feature has any actual point at all. East of Mauville, across the river and through the grass onto route 123 and you'll find the Berry Master's house. Talk to him and he'll give you two random berries. Talk to his missus and she'll ask you for a phrase. This phrase doesn't actually reappear, but entering something silly and then listening to her standard reaction ("Oh, a good phrase it is!") is sometimes amusing. However, there is a better thing to do here, as there are certain phrases that will get you some rare berries. These are...
GREAT BATTLESUPER HUSTLECHALLENGE CONTESTCOOL LATIOSOVERWHELMING LATIASSome of these words need to be unlocked, for example you can't get CONTEST until you've been in a contest, and you can't get LATIOS or LATIAS until you've actually encountered the pokemon in question, either in the wild or while battling a friend.
ADULT - ANIMEATTACK - CHILDRENCUTE - GIRLDAMP - WOMANDROOLING - NITWITHEROINE - HABITHOT - BABEREAR - ENDSNORT - HEROINECOME OVER - MY - SISTER - !!SLIMY - COME OVER - YOUR - SISTERCOME OVER - MY - TIGHT - REAR (You get the idea, there are countless things you can do with the phrase COME OVER.)GIVE ME - YOUR - SISTER - !!I - ADORE - ADULT - ANIMEMUD SPORT - WITH - YOUR - MOTHERSHE IS - MAKING - ME - HARDSHE IS - VERY - WOBBLY - !!A TINY BIT - SLIMY - NOT VERY - WOBBLY