Salesmen
I'm not one to despise all salespeople. I appreciate that there is a need for salespeople and marketing in general. After all, without such things products wouldn't sell, a large part of sales is to inform. There is an art in sales and marketing, from simply producing a catchy or annoying advert (ie webuyanycar.com) to ensuring your product's name becomes synonymous with its type (ie iPod).
But there is one particular type of salesperson I despise, and that's the one who's so convinced he's flogging a dead horse that he actually has to pretend he's not even a salesperson in order to make a sale. Case in point, today, my front door:
| Doorbell | [ding dong] |
|---|---|
| [Ash goes to answer door, expecting it to be a courier delivering a parcel. Opens door to a man in his early 20s wearing a 'Southern Electric' hat and jacket and carrying a clipboard.] | |
| Ash | Hi there. |
| Man | Hi, I'm from Southern Electric, here's my ID. |
| Ash | Oh, the meter's just round there [points to the side of the house]. |
| Man | No, you've actually been flagged on our system. |
| [Ash, taken by surprise, goes into his 'suspicious mode' and notices something that until now passed him by] | |
| Ash | Hold on - we're not with Southern Electric, we're with a different provider. |
| Man | Ah yes, but we're the distributor for this area. |
| [A little alarm bell labelled 'bullshit' starts ringing in Ash's head] | |
| Ash | So... basically, you're a salesman trying to get me to change provider? |
| Man | [avoiding the question] Look... [gets out a map of the UK] if you can see, these areas are Southern Electric... |
| Ash | OK, yes, I know what the UK looks like, can we cut to the chase, I'm quite busy. |
| Man | Ah ok, if you're busy we can pop some literature in the post for you? |
| Ash | Thanks, you do that. |
As a little epilogue, he didn't actually get my name, so if he does put something through the door it'll be addressed 'to the occupier' and will therefore get binned without being read.
Ironically, I'm sure in the sales industry he'd be seen as a master salesman. In fact, had I been a little old lady with not all my marbles, he'd have probably tricked me into signing something that switched my energy supplier without my knowledge and consent, and he'd have been paid a hefty commission for doing so, because sales figures don't actually take into account whether the customer actually wanted the service or not. On the contrary, a good salesman, in my opinion, is one who sells the best product to a customer who actually wants it. Surely if you start to find people don't want to buy your product you'd be much better off finding people who do and selling it to them, rather than trying to con people into buying something they don't want. And if you find that you've descended to the level whereby you have to actually pretend not to be a salesperson at all in order to sell it, surely you should be wondering why? I'm sure the sales industry would be a lot less despised if they started treating people like people, rather than as sales figures.