What's for breakfast

Increasingly, I am unable to find a hotel in the UK that actually serves what I consider to be breakfast.

Oh sure, lots of hotels claim "bed and breakfast" but when you get there it's a so-called 'continental' breakfast, which is basically a bowl of oats, some fruit and a piece of toast if you're really lucky. The last UK hotel in which I stayed, the Holiday Inn Express in Bath, claimed a 'hot' breakfast on the website but when we got there it turned out to be a continental breakfast, but with grilled sausages and scrambled egg stuck on top - it seems the age-old english tradition of a 'fry up' is dead and buried. A more racist person than me might be tempted to moan at 'EU culture' destroying our traditional english breakfasts.

I have just returned from a business trip to Vienna, which you will note is on the continent. The hotel price included breakfast, and I was delighted to discover that, unlike the shit hotels that seem to be infesting the UK, in Vienna breakfast actually does include things such as bacon, mushrooms, fried bread, fried eggs... all the things that are associated with the so-called "full english".

So the next time I stay in a hotel and they can't provide me with the breakfast I actually paid for, and claim their breakfast is 'continental', I shall be calling bullshit. "Continental" is, as far as I can see, a crap excuse to charge you full price for breakfast and then cheap out when it comes to actually delivering, while at the same time, no doubt, endearing themselves to the trendy types who think it's like so cosmopolitan, dahling, to not have a proper breakfast.